im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
