So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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