I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
