who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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