I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
