She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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