apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
