If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
