She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
