she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize