no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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