Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
