We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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