Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
