I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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