I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
