smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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