I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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