Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
