you guys were way drunker than both of me
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
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normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
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Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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