You can't special order awesome
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
how drunk are you?
Several
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
