I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
