you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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