i'm signing you up for texting rehab
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
