Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
