This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
