Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
