Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
