you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think my moral compass just broke
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
