Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
