please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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