Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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