I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
