there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
