Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Are we in a gay sports bar?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
