were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
