Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
