Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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