the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
please come you make the beer taste better
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
