You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
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He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
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Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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