Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
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He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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