You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
