this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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