I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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