Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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