they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize