apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
