he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
