Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
