No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
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Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
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I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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