It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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