I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
