you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
