i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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