I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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