Where are you?
In a non slutty way
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Of course I have a pirate flag
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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