Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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