ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
