apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
