??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
there is puke in my bra ... again
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