I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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