bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
