Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
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