That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
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So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
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He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Im part way to drunk.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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