Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
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